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Elul 1: Do

This year I’m a little resentful of Elul

It shows up demanding spiritual discipline

          Drop everything! Begin T’shuva! It declares

But I am not ready

I am very, very not ready

I am exhausted.

          Relaxing summers are for children and the retired

          (and I suppose, the wealthy)

There are sermons to write and laundry to do and a suitcase

(yes, another suitcase!)

to pack

Weddings to attend,

a long drive ahead (and back)

A family to love and struggle with

School to begin, services to prepare,

a community to lead day-to-day

          It feel’s like madness.

Elul asks me to be calm;

to look inward; to reflect; to apologize; to forgive

But I am not ready

I am very, very not ready

I am exhausted.

          Breathe.

          It’s only Day 1

          There’s time yet

Do the things that need to get done;

Create the space that needs to be made;

Go and come back;

Clean house;

Breathe.

Do.

And then,

          maybe,

we’ll be ready.

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