Home » Musings » My Friend Grief

My Friend Grief

In 2011 I did a lot of writing about “My Friend Grief” who kept rearing Her ugly head and interrupting my regularly-scheduled-life.

I created a blog about it called “My Friend Grief” but when Grief went back underground, I stopped writing and the blog was neglected and then set aside for this one.

Fast forward 3 years…Grief has visited from time to time but I haven’t done much writing about it…

And then last week She popped back up again. Her sense of time passing, and my sense of time passing are so different.

So I’ve been writing again and I figured I’d import my old musings from 2011 as well. You can find them in the side-bar.

Here are the latest inspirations from the muse I’d rather not have:

I had almost forgotten
how exhausting Grief is;
How my body can be taken over
by a zombie who is slow and
dumb
Like every thought and movement
has to make its way through
a world that has suddenly
turned
to
molasses.

I had almost forgotten
that my body could be in one place
and my heart could be in another.
I had almost forgotten
that I could fake normalcy so convincingly;
That I could juggle
all the balls
with my eyes closed
(in molasses no less).

I had almost forgotten
how Grief brings on words that won’t be
silenced
and tears that won’t be
ignored.

Almost.

I had almost convinced myself
that grieving you would stay in the background
now,
but to no avail.
You’re still there:
tragically loving me,
tragically broken,
and demanding answer that are nothing less than
tragic
themselves.

Grief is an old friend I’d rather not welcome home,
but there you are,
and there She follows,
and I’m no less a slave to the both of you than I ever was.
Five years
and all I can attest to
is that I’m so familiar with
molasses
that I can find my way blind
without so much as stumbling;
without drowning;
without chocking on it when I silently scream.

So how’s that for progress?

– EKG’14
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hi Hon!” he chirps
when I answer the phone.
As if last night wasn’t the first time we’d spoken in two years;
As if HIS brain
hadn’t broken MY heart
in a million different ways.
Turns out it was a butt-dial.
The cosmos laughing in my face.

– EKG’14

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s