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The Shadow

She may be scared of anger but She certainly never hesitates to ride his coattails. It never fails to stun me. The way I can be angry about something completely unrelated and suddenly there She is, right on his heals. I’m mad about getting played by some silly boy one minute and the next minute I’m crying as I’m driving alone (always in a mode of transportation, you notice?) because it seems like no one’s ever going to match up to the very high standards you created for me. You loved me in a way I’d never been loved, made me believe such a thing was possible, and then disappeared. Now everyone else is a disappointment. I fail at admitting I may have to find something different. Settle for something and someone other than you. Three years and you still haunt me. Stalking me the way Grief stalks Anger. Ready to pounce. I never see you coming. I’m always surprised by your ghost.

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